Not even a thought...

I saw it somewhere yesterday... it said The most difficult challenge is leaving.... That hit me hard... the most difficult challenge is leaving. Such a powerful statement for so many of us who are leaving and actually some who are staying too. It means so much to me and I know to many others...


Coming to Grenada was not easy for anyone. Even if you are excited for a new opportunity or in my case excited to move to where your husband is it is still quite scary. It is a challenge leaving your friends, family and comfort. Its exciting of course but its just a scary jump to make. you are living in a third world country, very far from home and it is SO different from the US. Fast forward almost a year since i have been here on and off and its a totally different challenge. The challenge now is leaving Grenada..... 


You would think going home to friends, family, the u.s. would be a no brainer but throw in some amazing amazing women and some precious kids and you have a whole different ball game. 
So I have met hundreds of amazing women in my life and I adore everyone of my relationships, but these are different. Many of them are very new friendships but goodness are these women amazing, they are selfless, fun and crazy smart women. I think its because we are all in the same boat we are all down here together, working toward the same goal. don't me wrong not every women here is special like these handful I'm talking about, but these handful are incredible. These women EVERY day yes I said it EVERY day do something for others. Its incredible and so eye opening. I am NOT saying goodbye because I know its not BUT see you soon because these women have taught me so much! Today two very amazing women Laura L & Laura C created a DVD of pictures with music to go along with it... Seriously we just lost it watching them. They are beautiful and I will cherish it forever. I am so grateful for the time and energy they put into my dvd because I will keep it and watch it when I need a little pick me up/cry...incredible. I honestly know God puts you some place for a reason and these women are reason number 1... 

Now down to the other challenge reason #2. The kids... I fall hard, but I have fallen really hard for these kids. I know this is not my journal but I feel like I am abandoning these kids. These precious kids who should not be in the home in the first place, these kids that should get hugs and tucked into bed every night...These kids who I have fallen harder for than just about anything else in the world. I am jumping on a plane to head back to the US and Leaving these precious children.... Challenge is the biggest understatement I could think of. 


Leaving Grenada has nothing on leaving the US. It has been the BEST year of my life by far and I just can't imagine not seeing my babies every week. They seriously make the worst day so amazing....


I'm posting this UNEDITED... I will not and can not read this...

I Love My Husband...

I have been very emotional about leaving Grenada... I am not ready, don't want to leave and feel like I am abandoning my babies..... But last night as I laid in bed with my hubby he promised this wasn't the last time we would see the babies, or be in a position to adopt. He promised me we would do Doctors without Borders to help babies around the world..... He told me he thought I was the most caring person he knows (he must not know too many people....) and he just rubbed my backed as I cried about leaving my babies....